A Muslim girl then voiced out that the union of a woman and a man has to be recognised by God in Islam. Marriage is also a union solely between a man and a woman and not between homosexuals. Another girl, who is a Catholic, realised that under PACS, couples would be having pre-marital sex, which is a cardinal sin in Christianity. She added that the act of sexual intercourse should be purely for the purposes of procreation, not for lustful gratification and definitely not between gay couples. The two of them stood strongly for the idea of a holy matrimony and pointed out the moral implications of PACS.
Having heard these opinions, the tutor insisted that the idea of marriage is purely religious and that people should be free to pursue relationships without being bonded to religious practices and long-term commitments. He added that staying in a relationship should be a choice and not an obligation. It was then clear to all of us that the tutor was imposing his views on us and was unreceptive to our views, thus the two girls did not argue further. This could also be due to us being Asians brought up with the Confucian values of not rebutting the teacher strongly. On the other hand, it is in the French education culture to argue and state their points of view without any negative feelings and thus the tutor stood for his stand adamantly. Communication in this case was one-way due to the cultural views and caused the teacher to be rather unreceptive and aggressive to our views. In my opinion, this is not a question of whether PACS or marriage should be favoured in either society but rather an exchange of views. Learning a language would require embracing and accepting the particular culture in order to understand the language, although this may sometimes translate into a relaxation of our own cultural norms and values.
4 comments:
Hi Xueli,
This event seemed to portray two different intercultural exchanges, one being the varying views on marriage and homosexuality and the other between respect to teachers and the need to assert oneself. Looking at the larger picture though, the difference lies in being conservative and adhering to social norms (or religious practices), or being liberal and upholding people's rights.
Your French tutor, being raised in a such a liberal society in France, is definitely one who sees his views as important and naturally wishes to voice them out. It might not mean that he was imposing his views on his students and even so, it should be perfectly fine to him if there were more disagreements as this would help in the learning process.
However, it is to say that the topic of homosexuality and premarital sex here is very controversial. In Singapore, homosexual sex is banned and a large proportion of Asians shy away from the considered taboo topic. Considering the intense discrimination towards these topics, your tutor might have very strong views on it. When the two girls pointed out the moral implications of PACS, they were indirectly insinuating about the French community and that might have urged your tutor to further argue his country's laws and views.
Hi Xueli,
Personally, I feel that belief should be purely the choice of an individual. Certainly everyone has the right to adhere to certain principles that he or she hold close to heart.
Your tutor's strong views about marriage, while valid and substantiated in his culture, may not be as well-received in a society such as ours. By asserting his social norms in another society, he has shown disrespect for the values of our upbringing.
While it is impossible for one to accept another set of socio-cultural beliefs simply because it is forced onto us, as civilised citizens of the world, we ought to be tolerant and accepting of others.
With the same intent in mind, I would disagree with the point that learning a langauge requires embracing the culture of that country. Seeking to know and understand another culture does not equate taking up their customs and traditions. Understanding the context of the lexicon certainly does not mean we are able to take the traditions as our own simply ecause it is not.
Cheers!
Hi all,
I disagree with the accusation that the tutor was being disrespectful. From your post, I don't see anything he said or did that could be taken as "disrespect for the values of Singaporeans' upbringing" and/or "imposition his view on the students". You said that "It was clear to us that the tutor was imposing his view on us". However, my question is, who are "us" here? Aren't "us" here you and your classmates, who are Asians with Confucian values? And if the answer is yes, then it is not fair for him being accused of being disrespectful according to the culture/values of someone else. And in this case, it's Singapore culture, which is totally different from his.
As mentioned in the textbook, in a intercultural communication, we need to put ourselves in other person's shoes. And in this case, from what we know about western culture, I believe the tutor was just sharing his beliefs and culture; provided that he did it in a proper manner. It would be perfectly fine with him if you further argued, shared and explained your beliefs and principles, again, in a proper manner (with respect for each other). But you were taken aback by Asian values.
For controversial topics like religion and sexual orientation, it is ridiculous, I think, to say things like: you are wrong and I am right; my God is better than yours..ect...If you have different beliefs, keep them close to you and live up to them. It's simply because making a choice is one of very basic human rights that everyone is entitled to.
^_^
Hi Xueli,
The funny thing about culture is that, the more we try to leave the norm and break out of the boundries of culture, in this situation views on how marriage should be viewed and conducted, the more we fall into another culture: Liberty.
How is liberty a culture? From the way your french insists on his view, it seems as though he is falling into extremism as well.
Thus, culture should be taken in moderation and effective communication, which involves not just the verbal portion but also active listening, is necessary for this to be achieved
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