For this blog post, I put forth a hypothetical interpersonal conflict situation involving a project group setting. I would be using the themes cultural differences, gender issues and emotional intelligence in the scenario to illustrate communication problems amongst us.
Peaceful Parry, Bossy Bobby and Fatty Fatimah have been assigned as a project group working on the subject of Nutrition. Bobby, a body-building enthusiast of four years, is well-read on the subject and possesses a chiselled body of envy as proof. Due to his domineering nature, he automatically assumes leadership of the project and expects his good friend of ten years, Parry, and a stranger he barely knows, Fatimah, to follow his orders.
Fatimah, being a headstrong person herself, is also aggressive in the way she pushes for her opinion during group discussion. Parry is the diplomatic group member and often reconciles disputes between the two. Once, Bobby and Fatimah disagreed on whether aerobic or anaerobic exercise is more beneficial for people trying to lose weight. Each of them felt strongly for their case. The argument escalated to a point where Fatimah stormed out of the discussion room in tears, when Bobby demanded what she knew about weight loss after launching a personal attack on her weight. Parry, wanting to maintain amicable ties within the group and feeling that sometimes Bobby may be too pushy and unreceptive of their project group mate, went after her to repair bad feelings on his behalf. After all, Fatimah is but a girl and it would be a win-win situation for him to empathize, be more sensitive and give in to her once in a while.
Through the working of the project, as Fatimah feels unappreciated and that only menial and insignificant job tasks are allocated to her, she becomes increasingly hostile towards Bobby. This has however provoked him into retaliating with snide and racist remarks against her.
With the above situation, one can imagine that Parry is in a great dilemma. Bobby is his good friend and long-time working partner and he trusts in his ideas about the project. However, he also feels that Fatimah has raised valid points and that Bobby should not be so obstinate in his thinking nor should he have been racist in his conflict with her. In one attempt in talking to Fatimah, he also sensed that she feels victimized and that Bobby and himself, being long-term friends, are “in it together” against her.
How should Parry assert himself to ensure that cordial relations are restored within the project group and to complete the project eventually?
Is it the end?
15 years ago
3 comments:
Hi Xueli,
As of all conflicts, sticky situations requires a delicate touch in order to resolve the issue.
Parry, in this case, is stuck in the middle and is therefore the only person capable of defusing the situation.
Through his friendship with Bobby, his words should have some weight in Bobby's mind. He can thus convince Bobby that Fatimah still serves as a good worker and that the project can be completed much easier with Fatimah on their side.
An apology can thus be squeezed out of the not-so-gentle giant. With the fate of the project at stake, Bobby can be made to be more tolerant and make less insensitive remarks. In addition, Bobby's workload can also be reduced by giving Fatimah more responsibility. Such can be used as an angle to win over Bobby.
As for Fatimah, Parry should first seek to recognise her contributions to the group and then get her to recognise that the best possible situation would be for them to work together to complete the project. With the apology of Bobby and the promise of more ownership, Fatimah's trust and hard work can be attained.
Certainly, it is not easy to preempt how each person will feel with an action. But with some foresight and tact, possibly explosive situations can be resolved with poise.
Cheers!
Hi Xueli,
In this situation, it is obvious that Bobby is a difficult person to work with. It is necessary to convince him to change his headstrong manners and work with others in peace.
The best person to do so would be his best friend, Parry.
Parry could try explaining to Bobby that his past actions have been dentrimental to the team spirit and the personal attacks launched at Fatimah are unfair to her.
Perhaps Parry could try putting Bobby in Fatimah's shoes, so that he can better understand the difficulties she face when working with him.
On the other hand, Parry could try and get Fatimah to forget the past and forge a new working relationship with Bobby so that the project can continue without further obstacles.
Hi xueli,
I think Perry should attempt to speak to Bobby first, after all, Bobby is his good friend. He should persuade Bobby to lower his ego and treat Fatimah more fairly. It seems that in this scenerio, Bobby is being an MCP and he is letting his ego get ahead of the bigger picture, which is to get the project done.
Perry could also try and persuade Fatimah to let Bobby have his way some of the times. To have a group working well, a consensus have to be reached and this takes coorperation among members, which needs tolerance as well.
Group work always require togetherness and hence, issues have to be always solved with the bigger picture at hand.
Eugene
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