Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

For this blog post, I put forth a hypothetical interpersonal conflict situation involving a project group setting. I would be using the themes cultural differences, gender issues and emotional intelligence in the scenario to illustrate communication problems amongst us.

Peaceful Parry, Bossy Bobby and Fatty Fatimah have been assigned as a project group working on the subject of Nutrition. Bobby, a body-building enthusiast of four years, is well-read on the subject and possesses a chiselled body of envy as proof. Due to his domineering nature, he automatically assumes leadership of the project and expects his good friend of ten years, Parry, and a stranger he barely knows, Fatimah, to follow his orders.

Fatimah, being a headstrong person herself, is also aggressive in the way she pushes for her opinion during group discussion. Parry is the diplomatic group member and often reconciles disputes between the two. Once, Bobby and Fatimah disagreed on whether aerobic or anaerobic exercise is more beneficial for people trying to lose weight. Each of them felt strongly for their case. The argument escalated to a point where Fatimah stormed out of the discussion room in tears, when Bobby demanded what she knew about weight loss after launching a personal attack on her weight. Parry, wanting to maintain amicable ties within the group and feeling that sometimes Bobby may be too pushy and unreceptive of their project group mate, went after her to repair bad feelings on his behalf. After all, Fatimah is but a girl and it would be a win-win situation for him to empathize, be more sensitive and give in to her once in a while.

Through the working of the project, as Fatimah feels unappreciated and that only menial and insignificant job tasks are allocated to her, she becomes increasingly hostile towards Bobby. This has however provoked him into retaliating with snide and racist remarks against her.

With the above situation, one can imagine that Parry is in a great dilemma. Bobby is his good friend and long-time working partner and he trusts in his ideas about the project. However, he also feels that Fatimah has raised valid points and that Bobby should not be so obstinate in his thinking nor should he have been racist in his conflict with her. In one attempt in talking to Fatimah, he also sensed that she feels victimized and that Bobby and himself, being long-term friends, are “in it together” against her.

How should Parry assert himself to ensure that cordial relations are restored within the project group and to complete the project eventually?

Effective Communication Skills

As Lee Iacocca, former president and CEO of automobile giants, Chrysler and Ford, aptly puts, "One can have brilliant ideas, but if he cannot get them across, his ideas would not get him anywhere." I cannot agree more.

Effective communication is the key to the exchange of ideas, and this two-way process is particularly important for me as I would be serving as a teacher, come graduation. Sending and receiving messages are an integral part of teaching. The manner in which these messages are delivered to students can either entice them to partake in discussion, explore, create and stimulate synergy with others or discourage and leave them in confusion and frustration. This is why there is an impetus for me to be clear and effective in my verbal and non-verbal communication, such that I am organized, enthusiastic and sensitive. This is particularly crucial as I am imparting knowledge to students who may not have great understanding of the subject and are likely to have certain cultural differences. My audience would be coming from diverse backgrounds, thus it is important for me to understand the different communication barriers that we may have, and overcome them so that my students would be able to receive my messages and decode them in a desirable manner.

Part of being an effective teacher entails active listening as well. Paraphrasing, perception-checking and clarifying questions would allow me to detect the gaps in my sent messages and to work on them with my students. Developing effective communication skills would also help me avoid the pitfalls of many a teacher. Some teachers simply make communication one-way by dumping heaps of knowledge onto the students and leaving the onus of concept-grasping to them. With the MOE Teach Less, Learn More initiative, it is vital for me to project my ideas coherently so as to make the most out of my classroom time with my students.